Photography: Robert Gray

My Story: Parts Integrating into the Soul as the Greater Whole

In medias res… (Into the middle of things…)

In 2006, my mother “dragged” me to a Spiritualist Church. She told my father and me that we did not need to get her anything for Mother’s Day if we would go – so, naturally, we eagerly took the bait! Sometimes, the least of steps lead to the greatest of journeys.

Soon afterward, I went for a reading from the minister. I was told I would be a “channel” – a channel for what exactly I did not know. After all, like most, I had heard of a television station or a ditch in the ground. I had not heard the word used in a spiritual sense before. Regardless, to open oneself to a new wavelength and to let new being flow through can truly be the beginning of a spiritual path… See More

For a while after, I did not pay much attention to all this. I did meditate some and read a little here and there. I also explored some in the spirit world. Always, however, I had the highest and best intentions in the Light – just not always the highest and best diligence!

Eventually, I sat down formally to try and “channel.” Earlier, I had been told this would start with writing. I often have terrible handwriting and do not like extra typing. So, just in case it really did work, I started at the computer. Laziness can often be the mother of efficiency, after all.

I meditated and entered an altered state of consciousness. It happened relatively easily. When finished, there was about a half page of text. I have always liked to get work done quickly and easily. So how could I not like this? Then again, I was not really doing any work per se!

Over time, after repeated sessions, the altered states became clearer and more profound. The writings became so as well. One would hope I did, too!

One day, my mother and I were in the kitchen. We were talking about one of the writings. We could not understand something. (There were a lot of things I did not understand at that time, and probably there still are – including myself, perhaps.)

My Mom was seated at the table, and I was standing across from her as we talked. I said something. She thought it was very good and decided to write it down so she would not forget it. I kept speaking though, and she kept writing. Soon she realized, in her words, “That is not David anymore!”

By then, I was half in and half out of an altered state. I grabbed the back of the chair in front of me to hold myself steady. The information poured out and helped answer what we had not understood.

The spiritual energy that had spoken through me uninvited apologized profusely later. I needed to know (and be shown how) I could bring this information forward not just in writing, but also in speech. We had already had a good working relationship. Being overshadowed and filled with Spirit, I was aware of the transition and allowed it.

The circumstances were unusual. Generally, my personal space is respected. (Any higher being should give this respect, and we should give it to ourselves, too.) In general, I do not want anyone, no matter who or what, crossing my boundaries.

People often ask me about my experience. Have I ever been scared or frightened by any of this? No, not really. Have I understood everything at the time and known the details of where it was going (and still is)? Possibly some, but probably little. Ironic, is it not? The unknown often elicits more fear than the known! Maybe here, deep down, I knew what was coming up, and so any fear was fear of the known – or what I thought I “knew” myself and others to be.

Indeed, there have been dreams, visions, and signs from before the journey began and along the way so far. I will not go into details. Who even listens to these, not to mention heeds these? I have not always myself.

In principio… (In the beginning…)

I am often asked about my childhood. People want to know if there were any circumstances pointing to where I was going. Or perhaps this could be rephrased as from where I am coming.

Family friends and acquaintances always said there is something “special” about me. I did not know what they meant and did not necessarily recognize it myself. As I grew, “special” translated into “different” – different to the point of being teased and taunted. So, one might wonder that, if this is what is meant by “special,” who needs to be?… See More

Early on, I had a much greater grasp of language and communication skills than my age group, including an adult vocabulary. Needless to say, this did not help my popularity later on.

My family was not religious, nor especially spiritually oriented at the time. We went to church a little, and, when we did, it was a non-dogmatic and open congregation. I did not like church much. In fact, I raised such hell that it made no sense to keep going. People often go to church to avoid going to hell.  Well, I made it hell to go to church. There is a certain irony here.

Despite this, early on, I would ask questions, the unanswerable questions. Some were philosophical and spiritual. For example, concerning God and war. By around age three, I had determined, on my own, that Santa Claus does not exist (at least as a white-bearded, gift-bearing man in a red suit with flying reindeer, traveling from house to house and going down chimneys). I discovered the truth. No one told me. I just figured it out. Perhaps, this is what I was (and am) also doing with myself. Are we not here to do this?

From childhood on, and into adulthood, I had an uncanny way of drawing concepts together, a unique understanding. Although I am considered intelligent, this is different. Ideas would manifest into form practically out of thin air. Pieces of knowledge would come together into a greater whole. I did not understand this, and, to say the least, my own age group certainly did not understand this, much less accept this! So I did not truly accept myself either.

Even at a young age, I would just “know” things that I had no apparent reason for knowing. I was prescient. Logically, there was no way for me to understand things about certain people and situations. My mother did not discourage me as often parents might do with gifted children. She was fine with this, but did warn me to be careful of where and when to talk about it.

In adolescence, I had many premonitions and precognitive dreams. I will give minor examples.

My father and I were going for a winter day trip up to the snow in the mountains. I had rarely been to where it snows, and, of course, I was looking forward to it.

A few days prior to going, I started experiencing things to come. One night, I dreamed I was driving a road I had never driven before. Another night, I was just about to drift off to sleep, and I got the impression that someone was going to break a bone.

My father and I arrived at Mount Piños, our destination. No sooner than we got out of the parking lot to reach the snow, my father slipped on ice, fell, and broke his wrist. Just as in my prior hazy, drifty awareness, there was, indeed, a fracture. (Hint: If we think we are ever going to “arrive” to be where we are “supposed” to be, we may very well be broken, that is, fractured from a true awareness.)

I was thus forced to be the one to drive us back home. Just before this, I had gotten my driver learning permit. Without any experience yet, I was forced to drive the long, unfamiliar roads myself. These roads, however, were exactly the roads I had driven in my dream. Sometimes, we know where we are going, even when we are not planning to go there.

Needless to say, these circumstances put an end to all my anticipated excitement about being in snow. The “foreknowing” though did at least lead to a new fascination and wonderment.

Another phenomenon I experienced might be called a “gut feeling” – literally! Twice around the same time period, I had a similar experience. On each occasion, I was to deal with a professional whom I had never met. Each instance, before the person entered the room, before I even saw the person (opening the door or starting to come down the hall), I had a strong physical sense that something was wrong. I felt like I had been punched hard in the stomach.

Although both situations would have been difficult to avoid at that point, I could have just refused to go any further right then and there. Unfortunately, I did not listen in either case, and the results were disastrous. So, if one ever gets punched in the stomach with no fist present, one should jump rather than justify. The point here might be to acknowledge the wisdom being conveyed and act upon it before it manifests itself as undesired consequences through human foolishness.

As an example of a vision, I once saw my departed grandfather. He had been deceased for years. By the time he passed away, he had become my favorite grandparent. At that time, I felt closest to him.

My grandfather had been on many community boards for many years. In fact, he was president of the board of the hospital where I was born when I was born there. He was well respected in the area, was a strong individualist, and a good businessman. He liked to hunt. He was a rancher. He worked until a week before he died at age 90. In short, he was just what a boy might want to grow up to be. In other words, I idolized him.

My grandfather had his faults though. Like many men of his generation, he had little tolerance and his was the only way to do things. Ironically, he was usually right in his decisions because he was very good at what he did. He never believed himself wrong and did not generally apologize. So, unfortunately, there was some collateral damage from my idealization of him.

Years later, I woke up with a start in the middle of the night. No question about it, I was awake and alert. I saw my grandfather at the foot of my bed, vividly present, and I heard him say the words “Do not be prejudiced and judgmental as I was.” This was the last thing I would have ever expected him to say. He had come to set things right.

So there always can be progress, if we are present to it, and, if we think it is not here, its presence might make itself known when least expected.

These are just a few common examples of experiences I have had. People always seem to be curious. However, with curiosity, one may expect the uncommon.

Other dreams, visions, and signs have been more profound in their impact, including upon the spiritual path I walk and where my work is going in the world, but these are things I just do not share.

Ad infinitum… (To infinity…)

Starting in 2010, and continuing still, I have been doing live spiritual speaking engagements. I have also, at times, done a lot of spiritual writing. Working with spiritual beings of light and love, I bring their messages and energies into both forms of communication.

Before then, I had started my spiritual development after having been without any intent whatsoever to walk that path. In fact, having come upon this road, my true way, from side streets and avenues that had nothing overtly to do with spirituality, I find my way, knowing that I am the only one in my way and knowing how I have been guided all along… See More

Over the course of the journey, the power and presence of truth and light, of wisdom and energy, unfold more greatly. As I am more attuned to them, they are more attainable to me. Is it that they were not here before, or is it rather that I was not here until now?

The irony is that it is not just these beings of love and light who are spiritual, but that we are, too. So, I work to integrate this. Sometimes, were it not for the tragedies of life, all of it would be purely comical. From the ridiculous to the sublime, we are thus. I am no different. I run the gamut, from devilish to angelic. It is all in here. Who needs hell or heaven in this case? Depths and heights, all requires integration, for there is nothing “out there” that is not already “in here.”

The more I do this work, the more cognizant I am of how the light and the shadow are also mine. We cannot work with an energetic frequency that is not already ours. Otherwise, it would not be attainable to us as there could be no resonance with us. Therefore, in revealing who I am, I recognize and realize the spiritual presences around me as also part of me.

The journey is not into the distance, but rather unto presence. We are not merely to reach up and out, but must also go down and in. By being at this point, this moment, we become infinite in the realization of the potentiality of this presence. The path is less one of destination than of integration. Sometimes, it all falls apart, and we must put the pieces together in a new way. I wish I did not have to say this. More so, perhaps, I wish I did not have to experience this. It is what it is though.

To avoid either the physicality or the spirituality that this life is requires us to deny that our reality is out of balance.  To try to escape will only bind us further. I admittedly partake of this at times, sometimes all too many times.

Enlightenment is not an illusory idea, but rather the breaking free of the illusion of our ideations, our “seeing” the light of our “being” the light. Fundamentally, we dwell in our own shadows when the light is who we really are.

As I see it at this moment, the goal is to embody who we already are. To go forward requires that one be here now, to be present on the path.

The path of the Way-Shower calls one also to walk the inner way. The Way of Presence is the Way of Power.

Where I have been is not where I am, and where I am is not where I will be. All that I ever was, ever am, and ever will be is I AM THAT I AM. Yet, to be all that I AM, I must not be.

As it was in the beginning and as it ever shall be, we are in the midst of it all as it is all in us.

In medias res, in principio ad infinitum… (Into the middle of things, in the beginning to infinity…)

From beginning to end, world without end, no beginning to its spinning, the Divine Truth is in the midst of it all.

Words cannot convey the True Reality. Now that you have read about a person, understand the Being beyond the words. Neither gaze upon the face in the mirror, but peer into the Light behind it.

Sign up and receive your free Mini-Course

Sign up and receive free "Tapping Into Yourself Mini-Course"

* indicates required